This is not a drill.
Likely to happen
Predicted doomsday cause
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We all know the zombie apocalypse is coming. Our scientists have worked tirelessly to produce this 100%* accurate doomsday clock to the inevitable zombie apocalypse so you can sleep easy knowing exactly when you need to worry about zombies in your neighbourhood.
Help us improve the accuracy of our prediction by completing our state of the art test. You will also find out how much YOU personally are contributing to the inevitable zombie apocalypse.
Our scientists are specially chosen from the best universities, thinktanks and labs from around the world. They share one goal, to dedicate their lives to predicting when the zombie apocalypse will occur. All of them are fully trained in the complex technical skills required to make apocalyptic predictions using state of the art microscopes and other high tech scientific apparatus.
Help our team of scientists predict when, how likely and how the inevitable zombie apocalypse will begin by taking our simple test.
You don't just owe it to yourself to take this test. You owe it to the whole of mankind!
Zombie clock is a visual representation of a vast network of supercomputers spanning several countries and managed by our team of expert scientists. The clock is designed to predict the zombie doomsday to a high degree of accuracy. It is obvious to all educated individuals that the zombie apocalypse is a foregone conclusion (why else would there be so many awesome TV shows about it?). The zombie clocks predicts when this is most likely to happen as well as the most likely cause.
Zombie clock works by taking some seemingly random questions from a sample of the general public. This is then compared against our vast databanks of scientific knowledge in order to accurately predict the zombie doomsday.
If you have not taken the test, take it now. Our scientists need as much data as possible to do their science properly.
The zombie clock algorithm is currently 96.34%* accurate. We hope to upgrade to high tech quantum “thingymagig” computers within the next 3 months, this should push accuracy up to around 98%*.
Good question! Basically a zombie seems to be an animated corpse that for some reason just won’t stay dead. They tend to shamble around moaning a lot. A few zombie types seem to be able to run but for the majority all they seem to be able to manage is a slow walk. Zombies typically seem to want to feast on human brains for some reason. Our scientists are still working on why. Our working hypothesis is that human brains are really tasty. We are currently recruiting for a volunteer and a skilled chef to be able to test this theory. Contact us if interested.
Zombies come in a variety of flavours, from your garden variety “resurrected from the grave by a dark ritual” zombie to your more contemporary “viral cannibal outbreak” zombie. We are currently trying to map all zombie types but regardless of the type all zombies have the following in common:
Sir, you are a fool. If I was less of a gentleman I would slap you with my glove and invite you to a round of fisticuffs. If zombies are not real, why would this website exist? Exactly. Now hang your head in shame sir.
We are a shadowy organisation of scientists whose sole goal is predicting the apocalypse so you don’t have to. We dont want you to waste your valuable time worrying about the zombie apocalypse. That’s why we are giving you an accurate date of when doomsday is going to happen so you can put your mind at rest.
Now that is a good question. Unfortunately we only predict the zombie apocalypse, we are not experts in what to do in the case of an apocalypse. We will work on this though and try to give you some tips. For the time being we suggest the following (in order):